Re: Fetish

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Posted by YoungBootboy (other posts) on November 06, 2017 at 13:35:05:

In Reply to: Re: Fetish posted by wc on November 06, 2017 at 06:57:18:

: Hi.

: Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I did read the whole thing. I have PTSD from being bullied as a kid, and today I am hypervigilant about having anyone I don't know well in my personal space, or neighbors going over the property line to rake leaves!

: You have had a very traumatic, scary, and horrible (and I think illegal) experience. No one should ever have to go through such a horrid INVASIVE thing like that! Wow.

: First, realize that you need immediate professional help from a licensed therapist. Immediate. This experience is eating you alive, literally. You are paralyzed. A therapist will help you work through your trauma and eventually get you back where you need to be.

: You state in another post that your fetish caused your problems. Maybe. If "they" had done a background check on me like they did on you, "they" would have found some of the same stuff for me. We all have our "things." Mine happens to be boots, as is yours. I have come a long way in accepting myself and the fact that I like to wear boots every day, even to work.

: I see something going on here. Deep down inside you don't accept yourself for who and what you are. A professional will help you work through this.

: Again, get help. Now.

I did mention that I am being treated for my mental health issues, though I didn't go into specifices & it was towards the beginning of my ridiculously long post. I've gone to therapy & have been on medication since I was about 15 0r 16. My screen name is probably a bit misleading at this point, but it was what I used back in the day when I was a teenager. I'm now 32.

I'm not sure what the quotation marks around "they" are for. I assume it's simply the lack of knowing how to address the people involved? Just making sure you don't think "they" are imaginary voices in my head or something. 😂

As far as my previous wording was a bit off. Liking boots, pain, etc was not in and of itself what caused all of this. It was the investigator who took things past where he should have. I don't know what went through his head that caused him to make the decision to treat me differently. I assume that part of it was simply because he couldn't imagine that I would report it. He knew I desperately wanted to transfer to the new position, he knew I was gay beforehand due to scholarship I had received for making a difference with LGBT issues in my high school. Between being gay, and having some mental health issues, I have a feeling it was similar to the mentality of Harvey Weinstein where he felt that I had too much to lose to ever challenge him. An interesting part that I didn't point out is that once it got to the point of each party sharing whatever evidence they had, I found out that he had taped our second meeting. That was the one that he did a 180 & said all kinds of things to make me feel comfortable. I have a very strong hunch that he had been spoken to after I had complained about the first one. He made it sound like he was giving me the choice to answer his more personal questions. Since he knew all of it already, it seemed silly to pass on any of them. I luckily had documented the difference between the first & second meeting prior to learning about the tape, so it made me look a lot better when the tape was released.

But back to the part about the kinks ruining my life. I don't think that everything that happened would have if it weren't for the kinks. I wouldn't have feared an open trial where I would have been questioned in front of a judge , jury, reporters, etc. Where I would have to openly talk about the boot stuff, my interest in getting kicked in the nuts, etc. What happened, shouldn't have - but it did, and I'm paying the price as my window of time to save my condo is almost over, leaving me in a bind where I have no place to go, and the fear of how I'll cope since I wil no longer have someplace stable, and away from people.

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